Being a student during the pandemic was definitely a different experience than what I was used to growing up. I certainly saw a lot more pajama bottoms, back rooms and bleary faces drinking coffee. However, although these were traditionally “more comfortable” public displays than I ever previously had with my classmates, I think the major difference between education before and during the pandemic was a shift between a sense of community I’d previously had in education and a sense of disconnect that emerged during the pandemic.

When preparing to write this piece, I asked several of my friends’ children what their thoughts were growing up in the age of Zoom meetings and distance learning. The comment that stuck with me the most came from my friend’s son, who replied that the thing he missed most about no longer having in-person learning was that he “couldn’t tell secrets at recess anymore” with the other kids in his class. I thought about that for quite a bit, at first laughing it off as another one of those kids-say-the-darndest-things moments – but after a bit of reflection I think I clued in on the real meaning, and it tied right back to my own feeling having graduated from university during this time.

While it may seem like you were “more connected” during this time of virtual learning, with the always-on Zoom meetings, breakout rooms and instant messaging, the thing you will always miss most is the close personal relationships you foster with your co-learners. While I was seeing more pajamas and bedrooms, I wasn’t “telling secrets at recess,” which is to say, I wasn’t fostering those relationships outside the learned material, and I think that is one of the most important parts of early education.

Once restrictions began to lift, one of the first things I noticed was people “struggling to be human again” and slide back into society’s personal relationship norms. Do we shake hands anymore? We probably won’t be blowing out candles at birthday parties again. I noticed this struggle taking place among my fellow university graduates as well as among children in the early grades of elementary school – maybe the real damage was not book learning loss, but the hit taken to social and mental well-being that is reinforced by the schoolyard relationships that occur along our learning journey.

If there is anything we need to champion and support in the years following this pandemic it’s these lasting relationships and extracurriculars that deliver the lifelong benefit of education.